The Athabaskan Bastards (“Down in Arizona”—memories of archaeological field schools in the 1970s—rude, disrespectful, and politically incorrect—and sung to the tune of the WABASH CANNONBALL!)

(I am in Arizona on distinctly non-Academic business, to assist in taking the Deposition of an officer of Wells Fargo Bank here in Mesa, on the east side of Phoenix, and not too far or so many miles to the north of the site of one of my early archaeological field schools when I was an extremely serious teenager.   To lighten the tedium of the 375 mile drive east from Los Angeles, I taught my British aerospace engineering clients a bit of Southwestern Ethnology & Prehistory, which necessarily included the following).

“Down in Arizona, where Scholars’ Minds are free, their theories they are foolproof as anyone can see.

This song it is the story ’bout the greatest of them all, how those Athabaskan Bastards caused the Great Pueblo Fall.

They stand there in their classrooms, and there they hem and haw, and tell fantastic stories ’bout the surveys that they saw, t

hough how the Apachees got there, they do not know at all, still its those Athabaskan Bastards ’caused the great Pueblo Fall.

Along the San Juan River lived a peaceful farming folk, who thought of scurvey nomads as something of a joke.  

They pulled in all their ladders but the Bastards scaled the walls.  That’s how those Athabaskan Bastards caused the Great Pueblo Fall.

On the Pacific Coastline, close by the rockbound shore, from Sonora to Columbia, you’ll find them evermore. 

They’re fierce and they are warlike, and it’s well known by all, that those Athabaskan Bastards caused the Great Pueblo Fall.

Since the Hogan and the Kiva, just could not coexist, the Tewa and the Tiwa retreated from the cliffs. 

They did not see, they could not tell the meaning of it until those Fatherless Canadians made the Anasazi Crawl.

My Second Archaeological Field Schools were, in fact, right up in NW New Mexico by the San Juan River.  In this modern era of wimpy non-racial, anti-evolutionary thinking, I cannot imagine what it would be like to try to study anthropology under the fictions of our time.  The archaeological history of the world is the history of competition between groups and ways of life, and the ultimate conquest or dominion of one by the other.

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